A Bullet in the Head

_{Crowds gather last night at Ground Zero in celebration of Bin Laden's death. (AP Photo)}

I went to bed early last night, dozing off half-way through Game of Thrones after a nice long day of comradery, BBQ, music, and sports with friends. A typical Spring Sunday somewhere in America. Well rested, I woke up at 6:30am to a sun drenched sky, with the chirping of birds outside my Cambridge window serving as an alarm clock. Wiping the sleep out of my eyes, I walked down to the dojo (what others may call their office) to begin formulating my post for this morning's SawxBlog entry. Lord knows I had plenty to write about, between Crawford's walk off at Fenway, to the Celtic's sketchy & sloppy playoff game in Miami. I figured the post would write itself, and I was right, I just didn't realize sports would be absent from it. Per my morning tradition, I went to the New York Times website to be greeted with stunning news staring at me in all caps. "BIN LADEN IS DEAD"

Now this was unexpected and shocking. Bin Laden had turned into a real life Keyser Söze for the American psyche, and seemed more mythical than real. We'd seen grainy footage of him touting an AK-47 through forgotten caves speaking on the ill's of America and claiming war on our land. But that real Bin Laden, while still hated with a vehement venom, had given way to more of a parody than anything. He was something to be mocked on Saturday Night Live or in some low budget teen movie, and for a lot of American's his capture seemed as evasive as Castro's.

I moved to Boston on September 9th, 2001 - just two short days before the tragic and confusing times of 9/11. I had just put myself through college, becoming the first in my immediate family to earn a degree, and was bright eyed, optimistic, and as hopeful as any 21 year old could be. I had a job all but lined up with a local record label, and was going to crash of the couch of two gracious friends until I got my feet on the ground. Then the planes were hijacked. The towers came down. The Pentagon burned, and thousands of civilian's died in horrific and cataclysmic ways. America, for the next couple of weeks got really, really weird. I remember standing on the roof of my Allston apartment as F-16 fighter jets continually circled over Boston, buzzing my thoughts with their crackling jets as tears streamed down my cheeks. I cried for the loss of life. I cried for the great city of New York. I cried for the loss of innocence. I cried for the uncertainty my life had been sprung into. Just two weeks prior I interviewed for a job basically in the shadow of the Towers, over at Columbia University, and my getting that job or not was the difference between Boston and New York.

The 9/11 attacks delayed the start of my career by years. The job I had lined up fell through, and I ended up sleeping on that couch for 12 months, working various odd jobs to barely scrape by. I was lucky though. I had lost no one that day, I still had my education, and lived in what I consider to be a great country, with great people. You can't achieve the American Dream without struggle, and while times were hard for a lot after that day, people banded together and helped one another out.

I was never comfortable with the faux Patriotism that people emitted afterwards though. I wasn't, and am not, comfortable with the creation of Homeland Security as a result. I wasn't comfortable with my privacy being sacrificed in order to be "safe". I wasn't comfortable with how 9/11 was dressed up like a Prom Queen and used as an excuse for things that had nothing to do with that tragic day. Bin Laden may be dead now, but when you're taking off your shoes at the airport, or hearing announcements on the Terror Level over loud speakers that's a direct result of his legacy. I'm glad that Bin Laden was finally made to pay for his actions, and I do believe it's some-sort of justice. I just don't like to cheer or wave flags when people get shot in the head, maybe I'm not Roman enough. But those crowds gathering last night chanting "USA! USA!" like they just left Lake Placid sure reminded me of the crowds gathering after 9/11 - and those crowds made me very uneasy.

I hope this brings some solace to those who lost people ten years ago, and also honor to the brave kids who've sacrificed their lives and time in pursuit of Bin Laden and his cronies. I just have a lot of mixed emotions on what has happened since the Towers went down. I'm glad this chapter's over that's for sure, but the fear Bin Laden created, and the way that fear was further manipulated in this country are still alive and breathing, and that kinda makes me feel like a 21 year old, standing on a roof in Allston.

Comments

[Flex]

Wow. Looks like you buy into this BS. That's too bad.
I'd bet my Yankee fandom that there are some major untruths as to when he died how he died etc. How convenient this has happened during such a down economic time when people question their
Country the most. And how convenient his body was dumped at sea. I read reports he's been dead for 7 years from kidney failure. Naturally CNN denies this. Anyway I for one don't buy this propaganda. I can smell the lies from here. And te sheep heard smells even worse. That being said. How is Game of Thrones?

[Tomopants]

You know how I know you have a good blog? You have crazy trolls.

Crawford can't catch a break. "Hey guys, you see I had a walk off last night? Guys? Why are you watching my highlight on Sportcenter? Awww, maaaaaann...."

[Flex]

If you were referring to me...I'm not a Troll. I was his College roommate. I'm just a bit of a conspiracy theorist and a Yankees fan. I enjoy reading the Sox perspective, and Dereks views on shit. I might not agree with him on some stuff, but I do appreciate his views. hence why I take the time to check this ish out.

[Derek Hixon]

Erik, I'm just going to have to disagree with you here. I'd argue people were questioning this country a heck of a lot more say seven years ago then they are now. On the other hand, Game of Thrones is pretty good so far, entertaining at the worst, some of the characters are a little too black and white for me, but it's fun.

Tom, that's pretty damn funny, and good point :) -- Crawford definitely is getting pushed below the fold today, it was pretty awesome to see how supportive all his teammates were though, shows they really care for the guy and really want him to succeed. That, I like.

[Flex]

Peruse this when you get a chance. http://www.lewrockwell.com/gaddy/gaddy70.1.html
Some things are stranger than fiction my friend. That's all I'll say. You can find more info on it, but perhaps that COULD(not saying definitely does) explain why our gov't would mislead us. I mean why arent we in Western Africa mopping up Warlords who destroy families, cut womens breasts off and torture villages? No Oil. Nothing in it for us. I just dont believe this report with Bin Laden is 100% truthful. I guarantee some facts are at the very least "skewed" and most likely distorted to create patriotism in our countries darkest economic hours. Would you rather report Bin Laden is confirmed dead from Kidney failure or that "We Got Him!" ? Thats all I'm sayin. Other than that I respect your viewpoint as well... and I appreciated your perspective with the moving to Boston aspect.

[Shea]

I'm celebrating only a little.

This will be like those corny but great Kung Fu films...someone will "avenge" his death.

Then we will retaliate...so on and so forth. Nonstop.

(The kidney failure rumor is actually becoming louder and might even be somewhat factual. He was dying alreay?)

[Derek Hixon]

This'll be my last comment here, as I don't want to turn this space too political, but I also didn't want to ignore the news in spite of that.

The strangest thing about the people "celebrating" is that they were mostly college aged, and were all but 10 or 11 when the Towers last stood, with faint memories of that they saw or remember except for the repeated images shown over and over again on TV throughout the years.

This is a generation that has been raised on a 24-hour news cycle of fear, and when this latest piece of news came across the ticker last night they reacted like a bunch of automatons, and cheered for what exactly, victory? Is terrorism dead? This was not our "V-J Day" - this was a victory in a very large battle that has no end in sight because you can't see it. The enemy is everywhere and nowhere, and with their figurehead now gone, it makes the water even murkier than before. Like I wrote earlier, I think it's good that we found Bin Laden and I'm thankful by the effort of the individuals in the military, I just question the reaction from certain people, as it kinda creeps me out.

[Flex]

The figurehead has been gone for years. The idea of him being alive hasnt been. Long ago are the days of "bring his head to me on a pike." Now the days are... Go over there... hang out for 10 years hunting him down, and when you finally get him... dump him in the ocean. Sorry. I dont buy it. Not for a second. I buy that hes dead, I just dont buy the details.